In a shocking revelation that has left global intelligence agencies and late-night comedians scrambling for words, it appears the long-standing enigma surrounding Russian President Vladimir Putin’s infamous “nuclear football” has been cracked. No, it’s not the doomsday device of cinematic legend. According to recently declassified (and hilariously absurd) reports, it turns out the case contains … Read more
In the depths of Reddit, where cats rule and conspiracy theories flourish, a peculiar trend has recently emerged that’s leaving the rest of the internet… speechless. Move over kombucha, step aside yoga, and forget everything you thought you knew about “wellness”. A brave new movement is here, and it’s hitting the fan — literally. We’re … Read more
In a stunning display of endurance, resilience, and raw plumbing prowess, Pierre Dubois, a seemingly average man from the picturesque village of Tarteauxpommes, France, has etched his name in the annals of human achievement. This past Sunday, Dubois shattered what many thought was an unbreakable barrier — the world record for the most toilet flushes … Read more
PoopsNews Special Report In a stunning and absolutely believable turn of events, the sleepy Russian village of Krylovskoye in the Perm region has once again hosted its world-famous (and entirely real) championship: the “Веселый коровяк” festival, otherwise known as the “Joyful Cowpat Toss”. Yes, you read that correctly—it’s the annual event where Russian women, with … Read more
In an explosive investigation by our PoopsNews, we’ve learned the shocking truth about the opening ceremony of the Paris 2024 Olympics. While millions of spectators huddled under umbrellas, damp from an unexpected downpour, little did they know that the rain could have been avoided altogether. Yes, you read that right. The stormy skies of Paris … Read more
A New Frontier in Personal Hygiene In these trying economic times, when inflation seems to hit even the most personal aspects of our lives, one can’t help but wonder: Is there a way to cut costs in places that no one has thought of before? Forget about skipping your daily latte or downgrading your streaming … Read more
The Outlandish Return of “Girls Don’t Poop” In an unprecedented convergence of scientific skepticism and cultural nostalgia, two of the most innovative fringe communities — flat-earthers and anti-vaxxers — have banded together in their newest mission: to convince the world that “Girls Don’t Poop”. Yes, you read that correctly — because what could be more … Read more
In what can only be described as a “total flush of common sense”, a viral TikTok prank in Mexico has unleashed an unexpected crisis, leaving clogged toilets, frustrated parents, and disillusioned children in its wake. At the center of this absurd drama is Mexico’s most notorious internet provocateur, Santiago “Santi” Chávez, a social media influencer … Read more
Orban’s One-Ply Scandal Shakes Europe to Its Core In a shocking revelation that’s bound to shake the very foundation of global politics, Hungarian Prime Minister Viktor Orban has been thrust into a scandal that could easily eclipse any economic, diplomatic, or environmental crisis to date. The world has faced wars, pandemics, and political upheavals, but … Read more
In a groundbreaking (and utterly mind-bending) announcement, a coalition of world-renowned mathematicians from the most prestigious universities have declared that the designation of public restrooms as “00” is not just mathematically inaccurate — it’s a violation of the very fabric of logic itself. This revelation was delivered with much fanfare at the International Mathematical Rectification … Read more