Welcome to the Science section of PoopsNews, where we unravel the mysteries of the universe, one flush at a time! From the physics of water swirling in a toilet bowl to groundbreaking studies on the environmental impact of flushes, we explore the scientific side of bathroom life. Whether it’s the chemistry of cleaning products or the biology behind our bathroom habits, we’re here to take a deep dive into the fascinating science that powers your daily trips to the toilet!
In the grand spectrum of human existence, some things unite us all. Love, laughter, taxes… and, of course, poop. No matter how refined or evolved we may become as a species, the humble bowel movement remains an ever-present, inescapable part of life. And yet, despite its universal nature, few words have been lavished with as … Read more
In an unexpected breakthrough for science, Japanese researchers have shattered the glass door of bathroom behavior with their latest findings: a whopping 95% of people relieve themselves during a shower, and the impact of this revelation is both ecological and, believe it or not, sexual. In a world where every drop counts — whether it’s … Read more
In the vast world of human anatomy, there lies a treasure trove of information hidden within your morning deposit. While most people rush to flush their business down the porcelain throne, a small group of cutting-edge researchers (and some overly curious cats) have spent years studying what really happens after your post-coffee sprint to the … Read more
In what can only be described as the most groundbreaking scientific revelation since the discovery of gravity — or perhaps sliced bread — British scientists have announced that every human on Earth poops, on average, once a day. This astonishing finding has sent shockwaves through the international community, leaving experts and laymen alike scrambling to … Read more
Minsk, Belarus — In a country burdened by sanctions and shortages, an extraordinary “breakthrough” in pharmaceuticals has surfaced, captivating the hearts, minds, and, regrettably, nostrils of Belarusian citizens. With shelves empty of common medical supplies due to sanctions over the nation’s stance on the Russian-Ukrainian war, the Belarusian government has unveiled its secret weapon against … Read more
In a groundbreaking (and utterly mind-bending) announcement, a coalition of world-renowned mathematicians from the most prestigious universities have declared that the designation of public restrooms as “00” is not just mathematically inaccurate — it’s a violation of the very fabric of logic itself. This revelation was delivered with much fanfare at the International Mathematical Rectification … Read more
In an unprecedented and wholly unpredictable turn of events, the Republic of Belarus, long a target of American sanctions, is now facing a medical catastrophe of the most absurd proportions. The United States’ sanctions, aimed at curbing Belarus’ financial and political independence, have triggered a nationwide shortage of pharmaceutical supplies. With shelves stripped bare and … Read more
LONDON, UK In what can only be described as the most absurdly British scientific breakthrough of the century, a group of highly esteemed scientists from the United Kingdom has reportedly patented a revolutionary new treatment for depression that involves… wait for it… soiling your pants. Yes, you read that correctly. According to these brilliant minds, … Read more