Welcome back, dear reader, to the second installment of our riveting exploration into the linguistic richness surrounding a universally shared human activity: pooping. In our previous article, we took a lighthearted yet detailed look at various euphemisms and synonyms for that humble word “poop” (or, if you prefer, “ka-ka” as the kids might say). But as with all great works of scholarship, there is always more to uncover.
As any seasoned lexicographer will tell you, the richness of a language lies not just in its capacity to describe the grand and awe-inspiring, but in how it tackles the everyday experiences that unite us all. And what could be more unifying than the act of defecation? So, with a spirit of scientific curiosity, we delve deeper into the expansive lexicon of poop.
Here we present 40 more unforgettable, colorful, and, dare we say, absurdly inventive synonyms for the act of pooping. Each comes with a bit of backstory, cultural context, and, as always, an underlying reminder that no matter how many words we invent, at the end of the day, we all have to go.
Let’s jump right in!
1. Take a Shit
This is the tried-and-true classic, the phrase that gets right to the heart (or should I say the gut?) of the matter. “Taking a shit” is as blunt and honest as it sounds. You’re not here to mess around, no euphemisms or sugar-coating. It’s as if you’re clocking in for a job you didn’t apply for but have been doing your whole life. The best part? No one’s expecting a performance review afterward.
2. Drop a Deuce
There’s something strangely elegant about “dropping a deuce”. It makes you sound like a secret agent with a mission — something to leave behind quietly and efficiently. It’s almost as if you’re saying, “I’m going to excuse myself for a moment and leave a little something for future generations to ponder”. The term also carries the subtle weight of numerology: two is the number of balance and completion. In this case, it’s the completion of your lunch.
3. Pinch a Loaf
This one’s for the more artisanal poopers among us. “Pinching a loaf” implies you’re putting real effort into crafting something substantial, something you might not be proud to show off, but you know took some work. Think of it as the sourdough of bathroom experiences — dense, hearty, and requiring a fair amount of attention. Much like a loaf of bread, you might need a little patience for this one to rise to the occasion.
4. Bomb the Bowl
Now, this one doesn’t beat around the bush. “Bombing the bowl” brings to mind images of destruction on an epic scale. This is the kind of trip to the bathroom where you’re really glad you’ve got some air freshener nearby. There’s no subtlety here — things are going down fast, and when the dust settles (so to speak), you’ll need to assess the damage. Just make sure you give others fair warning before they enter the war zone you’ve left behind.
5. Lay a Cable
There’s something almost industrial about this term, as if you’re working for a utility company and laying fiber-optic lines. In a way, it brings a sense of duty and responsibility to your bathroom break. “Laying a cable” suggests a process that’s long, perhaps a little drawn out, and definitely not something you can just walk away from quickly. It’s a steady, unwavering commitment to getting the job done.
6. Bake a Brownie
This term takes us back to the kitchen, where great things are made with patience and love… but not in this case. “Baking a brownie” is like conjuring up a culinary masterpiece, except this one you won’t be sharing with friends. It’s warm, fresh, and… let’s just say it’s best left in the oven of your toilet. You can even pretend you’re a chef for a moment, only this time the dish is better served not at the table but safely flushed away.
7. Log Out
For all the tech-savvy folks, this term is perfect. “Logging out” is the polite way of saying, “I’m done here, I’ve completed my session, and now I’ll be closing this tab”. It’s the kind of phrase that makes pooping feel like part of a larger workflow, as if you’ve just wrapped up a conference call and you’re ready to move on to your next task. Except the “log” in question isn’t a digital one — it’s a lot more tangible, and probably less enjoyable to deal with.
8. Touch Cotton
This one gives a little more suspense to the act. “Touching cotton” implies you’re walking the fine line between making it in time and having a very unfortunate situation unfold. It’s that moment of panic when you realize you’ve waited just a little too long to head to the bathroom. Every step feels like a ticking clock. Will you make it, or will disaster strike? It’s a phrase that captures the drama and urgency of those close calls.
9. Cut a Biscuit
“Cutting a biscuit” brings us back to the kitchen, but with a twist. Unlike baking a brownie, this implies something a little more precise, as if you’re a craftsman shaping a delicate, flaky treat. Except this treat isn’t going on anyone’s plate. There’s an implied neatness to the term, like you’re handling your business with care and attention to detail. It’s the kind of poop that might even leave you impressed with your own handiwork — like a perfectly baked, yet regrettable, biscuit.
10. Send the Browns to the Super Bowl
This term is truly a sports fan’s delight. It’s got all the excitement and buildup of the big game but with none of the glamour. You’re not just going to the bathroom — you’re sending your best team (the Browns) to the biggest event of their career (the toilet). It implies an epic journey, one fraught with challenges, but ultimately ending in victory. After all, the Super Bowl only comes around once a year, but the bathroom can be a daily championship event.
11. Blow a Hershey Squirt
For those less-than-ideal situations, “blowing a Hershey squirt” really sums it up. It’s the bathroom equivalent of an unexpected rainstorm — you weren’t prepared for it, but it’s happening, and it’s happening fast. There’s something almost comical about it, but trust me, no one’s laughing at the time. It’s quick, it’s messy, and it’s definitely something you’d prefer to avoid. But when nature calls, sometimes the only answer is a Hershey squirt.
12. Pinch a Grumpy
This term adds a dash of personality to the act of pooping, as if the poop itself has feelings, and they aren’t pleasant. “Pinching a grumpy” suggests that this isn’t going to be a fun experience for anyone involved. It’s the kind of poop that leaves you feeling a little grumpy yourself by the end of it. Maybe it’s the effort required, maybe it’s the outcome, but either way, someone’s coming out of this bathroom in a bad mood.
13. Drop a Chalupa
Fast food fans will appreciate this one. “Dropping a chalupa” suggests that your bathroom visit is not only necessary but a direct result of that regrettable late-night taco run. It’s a term that’s filled with both shame and inevitability — you knew this was coming the moment you saw that drive-thru window. The good news is, much like a chalupa, it’s over quickly. The bad news? You’ll probably feel just as bloated afterward.
14. Squeeze Out a Fudge Canoe
This phrase adds an almost playful twist to the act of pooping. “Squeezing out a fudge canoe” gives the whole process a slightly whimsical tone, like you’re sending a tiny chocolate boat on its maiden voyage down the river. It’s both absurd and vivid, giving you a mental image that, frankly, you probably didn’t need. But once it’s in your head, you can’t unsee it.
15. Plant a Land Mine
“Planting a land mine” implies that what you’re leaving behind in the toilet is something others should be wary of. This isn’t just any poop — this is the kind of bowel movement that demands respect (and maybe a bit of caution tape around the bathroom door). It’s the type of situation where you feel the need to warn the next person entering the battlefield that they’re walking into dangerous territory.
16. Lay a Log
This is a term that brings a sense of accomplishment to the act of pooping. “Laying a log” suggests you’re leaving something substantial behind — something with form, structure, and maybe even a bit of weight. It’s the kind of poop that, when you’re done, you feel like you’ve really contributed to something. Like a lumberjack felling a tree, you’ve just added a little more wood to the world, and now it’s time to move on.
17. Release the Kraken
This phrase brings a level of mythological drama to your bathroom break. “Releasing the Kraken” isn’t just about pooping — it’s about unleashing a force of nature. You’ve been holding it in for so long, and now the time has come to let the beast out. There’s a certain grandeur to it, like you’re making a grand declaration to the world: “Beware, the Kraken is coming!” And when it’s over, you’re left with a sense of relief, knowing you’ve survived the battle.
18. Make a Deposit at the Porcelain Bank
For those who prefer their poop metaphors with a financial twist, “making a deposit at the porcelain bank” is perfect. It’s as if your body is a regular customer at a bank, and every time you poop, you’re making a significant investment. You’re leaving something behind for safekeeping, knowing that the bank will take care of it from there. It’s a responsible, measured approach to pooping — after all, financial security starts with regular deposits.
19. Smuggle a Pineapple
This term captures the less-than-pleasant experience of an uncomfortable bowel movement. “Smuggling a pineapple” suggests that what’s coming out is not going to be smooth or easy. It’s the kind of poop that makes you question every dietary decision you’ve made in the past 24 hours. You might even feel like you’re engaged in some kind of illegal operation, sneaking something through customs that should’ve stayed where it was.
20. Deploy the Troops
This term adds a militaristic flair to your bathroom experience. “Deploying the troops” implies that your body is mobilizing forces, sending out a battalion of little soldiers to complete the mission. There’s a sense of strategy and coordination to it, like your digestive system has planned this moment down to the last detail. You’re not just pooping — you’re executing a well-organized campaign, and victory is within reach.
21. Carve a Mud Pony
This term evokes images of a sculptor at work, chiseling away at something soft and earthy. But instead of a beautiful statue, you’re “carving” a mud pony in the privacy of your bathroom. It’s a messy, artistic process that leaves you feeling both relieved and strangely proud of the, uh, masterpiece you’ve just created. If you’re lucky, no cleanup crew is required afterward.
22. Chop a Log
“Chopping a log” sounds like a day in the life of a lumberjack, but in reality, it’s all about handling business in the restroom. Just like cutting down a tree, it requires focus, strength, and precision. You’re not just pooping — you’re performing a public service, contributing to the imaginary forest of bowel movements. You might not wear plaid, but after chopping a log, you’ll feel like you could.
23. Unload the Cargo
“Unload the cargo” takes on a nautical or trucking vibe, as if your body is a well-run logistics machine. You’ve been carrying around a heavy load, and now it’s time to drop it off at the final destination. There’s something oddly satisfying about this term, as it implies that your poop has been a burden — one you’re now free of. This is logistics at its finest, with no need to sign for the delivery.
24. Take the Browns to the Super Bowl
In the world of pooping, this is an all-time classic. “Taking the Browns to the Super Bowl” is a sports analogy where your poop, represented by the Cleveland Browns, is finally making it to the big game — your toilet. It’s an epic journey filled with anticipation and perhaps a little disappointment, but once they make it, it’s a win for everyone involved. You might not get a trophy, but the feeling of accomplishment is just as sweet.
25. Launch a Submarine
For the more nautically minded, “launching a submarine” adds a bit of flair to your bathroom experience. It suggests something sleek and stealthy is making its way underwater, disappearing into the depths with precision. You’re not just pooping — you’re on a covert mission, guiding your “submarine” to its final resting place in the plumbing ocean. Let’s hope the mission is successful and no emergency resurfaces.
26. Grease the Kipper
“Greasing the kipper” is a term that makes absolutely no sense until you think about it — then it still doesn’t make much sense, but it’s hilarious anyway. This British-sounding phrase gives the impression that you’re getting something slippery and smelly out of your system, like a fish that’s overstayed its welcome. It’s the kind of poop you’re glad to see go, like evicting a particularly greasy tenant from your intestines.
27. Build a Log Cabin
Ah, the great outdoors! “Building a log cabin” isn’t about construction, unless you count the creative process happening in your bowels. This term is for those moments when your poop feels substantial, like you’ve laid down the foundation for something long-lasting. You’re not just pooping — you’re assembling a rustic masterpiece that would make even the most seasoned homesteader proud.
28. Free the Tootsie Rolls
A term that brings candy into the bathroom, “freeing the Tootsie Rolls” is both sweet and disturbing at the same time. You’re essentially breaking your Tootsie Rolls out of their confines, letting them roam free into the wild (or rather, the toilet). It’s a playful, candy-coated way of describing something that’s anything but sweet. Just don’t expect these Tootsie Rolls to taste as good as the ones you ate as a kid.
29. Unload the Burrito Supreme
For those who’ve indulged in one too many late-night Taco Bell runs, “unloading the Burrito Supreme” is a phrase you’ll be all too familiar with. It’s the kind of bathroom experience that feels as inevitable as it is explosive. That extra-large burrito you thought was such a good idea? Now it’s making its grand exit, and it’s not going quietly. It’s the kind of poop that reminds you that fast food comes with a price.
30. Blow Mud
This term leaves little to the imagination. “Blowing mud” describes a situation where things are far from solid, and the result is, well, messy. It’s the bathroom equivalent of a natural disaster, where you’re left hoping that things return to normal soon. When you’re blowing mud, all bets are off, and cleanup is going to be necessary.
31. Make a U-Boat
Another nautical term, “making a U-Boat” suggests something that lurks beneath the surface, silent but deadly. It’s a stealthy operation, one where your poop emerges only briefly before disappearing into the watery depths. If you’ve ever had a poop that floats, only to dive back down, congratulations — you’ve made a U-Boat.
32. Create a Potty Picasso
You’re not just pooping — you’re creating art. “Creating a Potty Picasso” brings a sense of creativity and chaos to the act, as if your toilet bowl is a blank canvas waiting for your masterpiece. It’s abstract, colorful, and maybe a little disturbing to look at. But like all great art, it leaves an impression that’s hard to forget.
33. Fire a Butt Cannon
This term suggests that your poop is less about gentle release and more about brute force. “Firing a butt cannon” is a high-powered event, with the kind of velocity that leaves you stunned. It’s the kind of bathroom trip where you feel like you’re firing artillery, and the bowl is the target. Once the smoke clears, you’re left wondering how you even survived.
34. Send a Trouser Snake Down the Drain
This bizarre term conjures up images of a slithery, uncooperative poop making its escape. “Sending a trouser snake down the drain” implies that the process is long and winding, much like a snake, but ultimately successful. It’s a phrase that’s equal parts ridiculous and strangely accurate — once that snake’s in the drain, you can finally relax.
35. Drop a Stinky Parcel
This one’s for the more polite poopers among us. “Dropping a stinky parcel” makes it sound like you’re delivering a package — just one that nobody really wants. It’s a neat little euphemism for a smelly situation, as if you’re leaving a small gift for the plumbing system to take care of. The key word here is “stinky”, because there’s no denying what this parcel contains.
36. Pump Out the Poo Pontoons
This phrase takes you straight to the world of boating, but instead of a leisurely ride on the lake, you’re “pumping out the poo pontoons”. This term suggests you’re offloading something that’s been keeping you afloat — figuratively, of course. Once those pontoons are pumped out, you’re feeling lighter, like a boat ready to sail off into the sunset (or at least back to the living room).
37. Release the Chocolate Hostages
This is one of those phrases that sounds kind of sweet — until you really think about it. “Releasing the chocolate hostages” is a humorous way of saying you’ve been holding something in for far too long, and now it’s time to let go. It’s not about freedom for your intestines, it’s about making sure those hostages get where they need to go. And where they’re going, there’s no return trip.
38. Leave a Lincoln Log
Nostalgia meets the bathroom with this term. “Leaving a Lincoln Log” takes you back to the days of building toy cabins, but this time, you’re leaving something behind in the toilet that looks suspiciously similar. There’s something almost innocent about it — until you realize that Lincoln Logs were meant to be played with, not flushed.
39. Craft a Corn Cobra
For the adventurous, “crafting a corn cobra” suggests that your poop is not only a product of digestion, but also an artistic endeavor. This one’s for those post-corn meals, where the results are… let’s just say “distinct”. The cobra slithers out, and you’re left in awe of nature’s weirdest handiwork. It’s a bizarre creation, but one that’s undeniably memorable.
40. Shit a Brick
This is the phrase for those moments when your poop feels like it’s literally made of stone. “Shitting a brick” captures the intense, uncomfortable feeling of passing something that shouldn’t be that difficult to expel. You’re left wondering if you should be working in construction, because clearly you’re capable of producing building materials. Once it’s over, you feel like you’ve accomplished something truly monumental (and hopefully won’t need to repeat the experience anytime soon).
And so concludes our journey into the deeper realms of poop-related vocabulary. With these 40 additional terms, we have further illuminated the rich tapestry of human creativity and humor that surrounds an act we all perform daily. Whether you’re planting a land mine, launching a torpedo, or sending a butt nugget to Valhalla, the important thing to remember is that we’re all in this together — united by our need to, quite simply, go.
Who knows what the next exploration will bring? Until then, may your logs be firm, your fudges smooth, and your Browns victorious.
