Every time we descend into the subway, we encounter its mysteries. One of the most puzzling and frequently discussed topics is why there are no toilets in the metro. Many simple explanations surround us, ranging from sanitary regulations to ventilation issues. However, if we dig deeper, it becomes clear that the real reason is not at all what we’re told. Behind this absence lies a series of secrets deliberately kept from the public. Perhaps, it’s not just a matter of convenience, but something far grander and more mystical than we can imagine.
1. The Metro is an Ancient Underground Temple Protected from Impure Intentions
According to ancient texts that were allegedly found during excavations of the first metro stations, the subway is not merely a means of transportation but something far more sacred. As it turns out, ancient civilizations built the tunnels not for trains, but for mysterious purification rituals. These rituals had one specific rule — any intrusion of “impurity”, such as toilets or other human necessities, would disrupt the energy balance that keeps darkness at bay underground. This is why the metro is considered a holy place where human weakness cannot be allowed, or the forces of ancient evil will break free and begin to take over the cities.
2. The Metro is a Simulation for Observing Human Behavior in Stressful Situations
Some speculate that the metro is, in fact, a giant laboratory for studying human behavior. Scientists claim that the ban on toilets is a deliberately planned experiment to see how long a person can maintain self-control in a confined space. Hidden cameras in the trains and stations allegedly capture the slightest changes in passengers’ facial expressions, posture, and movements as they begin to feel the need to use a restroom. If someone holds out too long, the system sends a signal to the researchers, and a new phase of the experiment begins — increasing stress by stopping the train in a tunnel for 20 minutes.
3. The Metro is a Giant Ant Colony, and Toilets Could Ruin the Tunnel Ecosystem
Entomologists have long noticed that metro stations strangely resemble ant colonies. That’s because the subway is actually part of a gigantic ecosystem of underground giant ants, unnoticed by most people. These ants built the tunnels long before humanity appeared, and the metro is merely a temporary tenant. However, toilets could be disastrous for these creatures. Ant pheromones could mix with human odors, disrupting the complex mechanisms that govern the colonies. Rumor has it that the ants are capable of seeking revenge if someone disturbs their ecosystem too much.
4. Toilets in the Metro Open a Portal to a Parallel Dimension
Some researchers of alternate dimensions claim that any attempt to install toilets in the metro leads to the opening of a portal to another reality. In their view, the subway is already a passageway to parallel worlds, where everything seems familiar but is subtly altered. Restrooms, built amid the powerful electromagnetic field that reigns in the metro, create conditions for the accidental opening of these portals. One step — and a passenger might find themselves in a world where all the trains run backward and the stations are named after famous cats.
5. The Metro is Actually a Huge Living Organism
Another theory suggests that the metro is not just a network of tunnels but a living organism dwelling beneath the city. All the metro lines are its blood vessels, and the trains serve as nerve impulses, transmitting information throughout the “body” of the metropolis. Metro stations are important “organic” hubs that must not be desecrated. Installing toilets could cause pain to this creature, making it restless. Some argue that train delays are signals indicating that the “metro organism” is feeling unwell.
6. Toilets in the Metro Could Activate an Ancient Weather Control Mechanism
Beneath cities, there is a hidden meteorological network governed by unknown forces. These forces use the metro as part of their complex system for controlling the weather. Sensors are hidden in specific parts of the tunnels, reacting to any changes in pressure and temperature. If toilets were installed in the metro, the sudden increase in air humidity and random “vapors” could activate an ancient weather control mechanism, leading to torrential rains or blizzards at the wrong time of year. City officials have kept this secret for centuries to prevent disaster.
7. The Metro is an Ancient Arena for Battles Between Underground Gods
Archaeologists have repeatedly found strange markings on the walls of metro tunnels that resemble symbols. They link these findings to ancient myths about underground gods who fought for control over cities. According to these legends, each metro system is a sort of arena where these gods periodically resume their battles, and toilets could desecrate the sacred grounds of their fights. Any interference in the harmony of these underground duels threatens new cataclysms, from earthquakes to the disappearance of all trains into unknown dimensions.
8. The Metro Protects the City from Alien Invasion
One of the most popular theories suggests that the metro is, in fact, a protective shield against an alien invasion. Toilets are not built because they could become weak points in this defense mechanism. Human waste generates unusual vibrations that can “awaken” alien beacons hidden deep within the Earth. These beacons, in turn, send signals into space, attracting the attention of unwelcome guests. Thus, the absence of toilets is a preventive measure to avoid an invasion.
9. The Metro is a Subterranean Prison for Ancient Titans
According to some versions, ancient titans — gigantic beings that once tried to destroy humanity — are imprisoned beneath the metro system. These giants were entombed underground, and the metro tunnels were built as a network of cells and locks to keep the titans in place. Toilets, however, could disrupt the complex magical system of confinement, breaking the barriers between the titans and the world. Some say that the rumble we sometimes hear in the tunnels is the moaning of imprisoned titans who despise the metro and all its passengers.
10. The Metro is a Secret Bunker for Global Elites
Some believe that the metro is actually part of a vast underground network of bunkers, secretly used by the world’s elites to prepare for apocalyptic scenarios. These underground sanctuaries are designed to be self-sufficient, but there’s a catch — no public toilets allowed. The theory suggests that the metro’s lack of restrooms is intentional, to prevent the common public from discovering hidden entrances to these elite hideaways. Toilets, after all, would be a convenient cover for secret doors to these secure facilities.
11. Toilets in the Metro Would Break an Ancient Curse
Legend has it that when the first subway tunnels were dug, they unearthed an ancient curse that was placed to protect the underground realms. The curse is triggered if any form of sanitation is built underground — especially public toilets. According to the myth, the curse would unleash chaos in the form of subway breakdowns, city-wide blackouts, and floods in the tunnels. To avoid these consequences, city planners consciously avoid building toilets in the metro.
12. The Metro is Powered by Human Discomfort
A rather bizarre theory proposes that the metro is powered by the collective discomfort of its passengers. It’s said that by creating an environment where people are constantly in search of a restroom but unable to find one, the metro taps into this discomfort and transforms it into energy. This “discomfort energy” is what keeps the trains running smoothly and the stations lit. Installing toilets would disrupt this delicate system and cause power outages.
13. Metro Toilets Could Trigger a Zombie Apocalypse
Another popular theory claims that the underground tunnels of the metro are directly connected to vast underground laboratories where illegal experiments are conducted — including those related to the undead. Toilets could serve as a conduit for the biohazardous materials buried deep below, causing a catastrophic zombie outbreak. To prevent such a disaster, metro authorities have opted to forgo public restrooms altogether.
14. Toilets Would Interfere with the Surveillance Network
Many speculate that the metro is a key part of a global surveillance network, with hidden cameras, microphones, and sensors strategically placed in every corner. Public toilets would create blind spots where the authorities could no longer monitor passengers. Without the ability to track everyone’s movements and conversations in real-time, the surveillance system would be compromised. Thus, the absence of toilets ensures that the network remains intact.
15. The Metro is Built on Top of a Giant Underwater Reservoir
Some believe that beneath the metro lies a gigantic underground reservoir of water. Installing toilets in the metro could potentially disturb this hidden body of water, causing leaks or even massive floods. This hidden reservoir is supposedly the last defense against a drought that could wipe out entire cities. Therefore, toilets are avoided to protect this vital underground resource from being accidentally breached.
16. Toilets Would Attract Ghosts
There’s a belief that the metro is haunted by the spirits of those who perished during its construction. These restless spirits are said to be particularly sensitive to areas with high levels of human activity — especially places like toilets, where emotional distress might peak. By installing toilets in the metro, it’s thought that the influx of ghosts would be unbearable, leading to disturbances like flickering lights, cold drafts, and inexplicable train delays.
17. The Metro is Part of a UFO Landing System
According to some conspiracy theorists, the metro is more than just a transportation system — it’s a hidden landing network for UFOs. The tunnels are designed to guide extraterrestrial craft into underground bases. Toilets would disrupt the electromagnetic signals required for the precision landing of these crafts. This is why the idea of toilets in the metro is strictly off-limits — one misplaced restroom could lead to a UFO crash.
18. Toilets in the Metro Could Lead to Spontaneous Sinkholes
A geological theory suggests that the ground beneath major cities is already weakened by the extensive network of metro tunnels. The installation of toilets, with their need for plumbing and water flow, could destabilize the earth even further. This would result in spontaneous sinkholes appearing at metro stations, swallowing entire trains and passengers without warning. To avoid this catastrophe, toilets are purposely omitted from metro plans.
19. The Metro is Run by a Secret Society that Controls Human Bladders
One of the most outlandish theories posits that the metro is controlled by a secret society known as “The Bladder Brotherhood”. This mysterious group is said to have mastered the art of controlling human bodily functions, using the lack of toilets as a form of psychological control over the masses. By depriving people of restrooms, they induce discomfort, which in turn makes the population more obedient and easier to manage. The absence of toilets is thus part of a larger plan to maintain social control.
20. Toilets in the Metro Cause Time Shifts
The final theory links the metro to time travel. Allegedly, subway rides can alter your perception of time: five minutes in the metro could turn out to be hours or days in the real world. Toilets, according to theorists, disrupt this temporal matrix. People who use the restroom in the metro risk stepping out of the stall 20 years later, unaware of the changes that have occurred. To avoid such incidents, toilets are simply not installed.
Thus, beneath the seeming simplicity of the metro lies a powerful tool for controlling ancient forces, gods, aliens, and even time itself.
So, here we have unveiled theories that an ordinary subway passenger wouldn’t even consider. Each one lifts the veil on a mystery that has spanned centuries, intertwining with the history of humanity and its underground constructions. After all, the real reason is not at all what we’re told. Who knows what other secrets lie hidden in the depths of the metro? Perhaps one day, a brave soul will dare to break the taboo and install a toilet in the subway — and then we’ll see what happens. But are we ready for the consequences?
